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deepthroatmom:

this the rawest shit i ever seen in my life

deepthroatmom:

this the rawest shit i ever seen in my life

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 314,346 notes
1 day ago on April 18th | J | 9,316 notes

Losing friends to people you helped them meet

image

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 422,153 notes

glenn-rhee-pizzaboy:

geothebio:

geothebio:

a very intimidating middle class family is staring me down in panera bread because i put mac and cheese on my baguette

update: i told them that staring is rude and that i would eat anything on this baguette including their small child

you are everything i aspire to be

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 30,757 notes

patchesoftheuniverse:

the problem with reading a good book is that you want to finish the book but you don’t want to finish the book

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 215,460 notes

thesorrovv:

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 95,649 notes

wifiloveyou:

LET’S 

     GET DOWN

              TO BUSINESS 

TO     DEFEAT 

    THE

image

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 17,288 notes

cumber-kitty:

is-doitsu-an-instrument:

is-doitsu-an-instrument:

In France, they say “mdr” instead of “lol” and that roughly translates to “death by laughter” so basically instead of laughing really loudly like we do, the French laugh so hard that they die.

French slang is freaking metal.

DEATH BY OHONHONHON

#also sounds like murder

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 23,780 notes

alishalovescats1701:

charlypezza:

gyubu:

the-villain-is-the-catalyst:

20julz13:

IT JUST WANTS TO WEAR THE HAT

“NO SON OF MINE IS GONNA WEAR PEOPLE HATS”

cant stop laughing

Poor lil kitty

this is what happened when tumblr got tumblr pro

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 386,801 notes

songofsunset:

inventrix:

0trevskies:

When friends won’t believe they’re cute and perfect

image

when friends insist that you’re cute and perfect

image

shhhhhhhh you’re cute and perfect deal with it

image

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 490,731 notes
tell us your most embarrassing story

Anonymous

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 118,986 notes

actual-ironman-tonystark:

queerqueensansa:

postllimit:

mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something

my dad has literally called me by his own name. 

my mother has called me our cats name who has been dead for five years

multiple times

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 92,392 notes
1 day ago on April 18th | J | 5,513 notes

I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN

I AM ALLOWED TO CRY OVER SIMPLE THINGS

I AM FULLY AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND THEY ARE PROBABLY WORSE OFF THAN I AM

DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I AM UPSET

MY FEELINGS ARE VALID

I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN

WHAT IS SIMPLE TO YOU COULD BE STRESSFUL TO ME

STOP TELLING ME TO THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT WORSE

STOP STOP STOP

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 59,622 notes

texas-red-dirt-sunset:

introbulus:

one-hamburger:

dicksp8jr:

fionaaelizabeth:

If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead 

what do coral even get stressed about

Current events

I sea.

guys, i work at an aquarium and my coworkers and i have literally laughed at this for three days straight. everytime we pass each other we whisper “current events” and crack up. our customers think we are nuts.

1 day ago on April 18th | J | 819,315 notes